leerenah

I feel too stressed and drained. I’ve waited all day for the good news. When it finally arrived I wasn’t sure if it was bad. But it was definitely not good. So I was given a visa again, and tabs hasn’t yet. He was still asked to submit a TIN card, which by some stroke of misfortune we couldn’t find anywhere in the world. We combed the whole house, and it couldn’t be found. If ever we did find it the process will be extended for 3 days, still unsure if he will be given a visa. And we are supposed to leave by the weekend, which I doubt if ever we could still make it.
I feel so sad, mad and sorry for him. Sad that he was still unsure of approval, mad that he did not take the reapplication requirements seriously, and sorry because it was somehow my fault he was denied the first time and couldn’t witness the country I would want to revisit over again.
I was really hoping against hope that he would be approved and we could go together this time. C’mon Korean Embassy, the suspense is killing me!

This day bored me out of my wits! So bored that I searched for schools that offer graduate programs.. Maybe this term? Or the next? Which school? I can do business, I can do nursing. My eyes droop just by looking at the courses and the amount of driving time going to these schools. Crap, I must be going out of my mind.

Lola Beth is Tabs’ favorite granny, even though she is not his immediate grandmother (she’s a sister of his mother’s mother). She was the one who took care of him as a little child and have lived with them for several years. She cooked for the family and especially for tabs’ requested foods. You could say she’s contributory to tabs’ fat deposition. Tabs and lola even lived for a year in Dasmarinas, Cavite, when tabs studied Biology in DLSU. I met her when we were still a new couple, and she criticized my huge eyebags.^^
She got sick in 2008 and we visited her a couple of times in Cainta, where she was then living with her relatives, asking for financial assistance. She doesn’t have children, only adopted ones she raised who don’t care too much about her, the way I see it. She had 2 dogs she dearly loved whom she treated like her own children.

Lola Beth passed away yesterday. I couldn’t help feeling sad though I barely know her. Tabs told me he had been thinking about lola’s cooking for several days now. Maybe she was thinking about him too, before she died.
We will be travelling up north to Ilocos on the long weekend. Due to schedule conflicts I don’t think we will make it before her interment. But we will still pay our respects after. Lola Beth, tabs will miss you! And thanks for everything on his behalf.

Several hours passed and I’m still pissed. I purchased tickets for Universal Studios Singapore online for our trip in less than 2 weeks. I was watching my budget since practically I would be the one spending for the whole trip. Good thing my father is already a senior citizen thats why I got one of the tickets at SG$32 when a regular adult at non peak is at SG$68. I plan on going there on a friday which is also coincidentally a non peak day, compared to  a peak rate of  SG$74. And shit suddenly happened when I accidentally purchased a 4 adult and 1 senior. And we are just 4. I already emailed them, and no, it cannot be refunded. The Agcaoilis and I are coming back again in September, but we already got tickets. It will be one wasted ticket. I was surprised how a SG$68 or around 2,300 pesos could affect me tremendously.  And there I was thinking of what I saved with a senior rate. Stupid. I was in a bad mood the rest of the day, big time.

Its been raining heavily almost nonstop for a couple of days now. It feels like a typhoon one after another when they said there’s even no typhoon this time. I instantly plugged my electronic devices to power outlet when I got home. Times like this power could shut off anytime. It was raining hard when I left the office, traffic started to swell, and sure enough, its already flooded in Queensway. Good thing I have a bigger car now, coz Jazz wouldn’t probably survive water that high. I don’t know, but whenever it rains this hard I kind of get scared. Though I didn’t have any bad experience with flood or something like that. I just think a lot about my loved ones’ safety, mostly, and I realized as I’m getting older, I frequently pray for them, especially Tabs. I think about my cats too, maybe stuck under cars shivering from cold and wetness. Good thing I fed some of them earlier when rain slowed down. My dogs are lucky and sheltered, in a cold air-conditioned room I’m maintaining just in case it blacked out, at least it would remain cold through the night.

Also, its very discouraging to go out, like go to gym as I planned. I hope on my birthday the rain won’t be as hard as this one. My birthday month really is a rainy month. Growing up, it always rains on my birthday. Now that I think about it, how about LSG’s fanmeet.. I hope weather would tame by that time. I would probably move mountains so I can be there, come hell or high water. Praying for a finer weather! And also, wishing for everyone’s safety this rainy season. 🙂

I’m not the kind who watch or read anything porn. Though I consider myself an open-minded modern woman, I’ve never been interested in anything obscene and lewd. It simply grosses me out.

Anyway, I’ve got to know what the fuss is all about.

And yes. I’m reading Fifty Shades of Grey.

2012 seemed to be a year of goodbyes. Goodbye to my first baby, goodbye to Richville, and now, goodbye to my car.. I’m starting to dislike the word, and I hope there would be no more anytime soon..

I found this under my pile of docs last night, so I decided to place it in a nice frame and hang it on my wall. Proud of what I have achieved, what I was capable of.
Can’t help the sudden feeling of remorse. 😦

I don’t know, but everytime I think about going to gym dreads me of some sort. Its like I’m always having heavy feet and laziness dawns on me everytime. Maybe the only force that keeps me going is the 2,890 I have to pay every month, locked for a year. Otherwise, there’s nothing, really. I thought that my miscarriage would be the boost that I needed to help me get fit. Or the thought that I may have diabetes, which I pray, won’t happen. Just that I always procrastinate. Everytime I plan to go, something happens, mostly it rains, and I would be discouraged to go. I initially planned on working out every tabs’ duty, when he doesn’t go home. So that would make it around twice or thrice a week, approximately 10 times a month. But on June I just made 2 visits to Fitness First. And I paid 2,890 for that 2 friggin visits.
Why the hell am I such a lazy ass? 😦