Life Journal



My October kids

My kids were both born on October, so this has been my favorite month since, next to December. Though I get sad as another year passes, I look forward to the kids’ birthdays every year. I watch them grow right before my eyes, and as hard and painstaking sometimes tending to them, I sincerely would like to have another one, another Sophie or another Jolo to love and care for and watch him or her grow.

Anyways, Sophie turned 7 this year! It felt like yesterday when I was crying and complaining of having a newborn, breastfeeding day and night. But it really did passed, and 7 years felt like a wind whizzed by. Sophie has grown into a beautiful and obedient kid. She is smart, charming, funny and caring to her brother. Though she has her mood sometimes, I couldn’t ask for a better firstborn than her.

And Jolo turned 2, too! Jolo is our sunshine. He is a ball of energy! He goes everywhere, climbs everywhere, tinkers with everything. Though he cannot talk yet, he has his own gestures, and is already forming his personality. Boy, he is such a sweet baby. He gives me sloppy kisses when its my turn to take care of him.

We would have celebrated the kids birthdays grandly this year, had it not been for Covid. I made sure we still celebrate though simple, the days they were born are always celebrating for. As in every year, I also had them photoshot in a studio.

I’m always nostalgic when their birthdays come, but really, its just me getting all sentimental. I’m always grateful for these little beings in my life. Happiest of birthdays to my little rascals sunshines! You both are my favorites in the world! 👫🏻

Some of my favorite shots from the kids’ prebirthday shoot, and snippets of their birthdays.

Prebirthday shoot
Prebirthday shoot
Jolo is 2!
Sophia turns 7!

Prebirthday shoot done at The Concept Room

Caricatures by Artist Josh Lepasana

Sophie’s extracurriculars : Ballet and Kumon

Sophie is doing ballet again! She used to do ballet when she was 5 but stopped after 2 months due to various reasons. She lost interest when she stopped but last November something must have sparked her interest again, coz she asked if she can do ballet again.

I inquired in a different school, and her schedule fits, so we’re braving the traffic at Alabang Zapote Road everytime. Here she looks happier with her new teacher and new found friends. They are having a recital on May so we are looking forward to that.

Sophie in ballet

Btw, she also started her Kumon class last December, too. I wanted her to join Kumon for a long time but due to various reasons again, she was not able to. Now that she’s doing Kumon I realized how difficult it is for them, to do a worksheet on a daily basis but surely it would eventually pay off in the long run. It teaches a child strict discipline in studying. How I wish I did Kumon in my younger years, too.

Since she can read already, she’s doing Math in Kumon. Highly recommended if you want to teach your child responsible and independent studying.

Acts Manila Alabang


Viral Scare

When the world welcomed the new decade with a big scare, the spread of Novel Coronavirus (read: SARS, Mers-Cov alike), I personally got the biggest scare of my life too.

Jolo had febrile convulsions twice due to high fever, and his breathing stopped after each convulsion. As in TOTALLY STOPPED that he turned blue and looked stiff and lifeless. We were in Taipei, Taiwan that time for a vacation, just a few hours before our flight back to Manila.

We rushed him to the hospital just near our hotel, Taipei Medical University Hospital. He was confined for 3 days, diagnosis : Influenza A, or simply, Flu. Imagine, its just a flu virus that almost took my son’s life away. It was by farthest, the most traumatic event in my life.

I am grateful for the doctors and nurses of TMUH. We may have difficulty in language but my son is alive and well because of them. I’m also grateful because we were still at the hotel when the incident happened. Timing is everything during emergencies. I don’t even want to think about what could have happened if we were inside the plane when my son was losing his breaths.

What a challenging way to start the decade but we made through it, and for that I am thankful. 🙏

Jolo is almost 1

Has it been a year again already?! Did I not give birth to this boy just yesterday? Time is too fleeting – my baby, whom I long to have again after almost 5 years, is fast becoming a toddler! I can still recall crying in the breastfeeding station while pumping so I can feed him in the NICU. And look at him now, a happy and active little boy, our daily ray of sunshine.

Like with her Ate Sophie, I’m torn between wanting him to be a baby forever, or waiting for him to grow older so he can be independent from me, and do amazing things he is bound to do.

My son Jolo, I love you always, in all ways my love! Doesn’t matter how much you grow, in my eyes, you will always be my baby. 😘

Jolo’s first 11 months

Best advice when breastfeeding journey ends

Pat yourself on the back and move on. 💔

Sophie graduates from Kinder

Time flies by indeed!

Another proud moment for my child Sophia! It hasn’t been easy, and it was love-hate teaching and guiding her through preschool. But here we are, Sophie graduates with achievement and values awards! I couldn’t be any more proud of her. 😭

Congratulations to us Sophie!

Sophie posing with her diploma

With her medals!

Academic and Values awards

Leaving my breastfeeding baby behind

Receiving the Schengen visa today made it more real that I would be leaving my 7 month old boy in a couple of weeks for a European holiday. It was the hardest decision to make, to bring him or not. Eventually, we decided not to. Just thinking about weaning him from breastfeeding so soon breaks my heart.💔

To make myself more at ease I’m listing the pros and cons of leaving Jolo behind.


  • Eventhough I know I will miss Jolo terribly, it will be a big unload on my part if I don’t bring him. No strollers and loads of baby stuff, no crying and fussing, no carrier, etc.
  • Sophie’s previous yaya, Ate Nors, is an excellent nanny. She will take care of Jolo when I’m not around, so I know he’s in good hands. Plus the 2 other helpers at home, my inlaws and parents will often come over to visit him. And there’s Facetime! I can see Jolo everyday even just on screen.
  • Maybe aside from the sudden weaning, Jolo will be stress free at home. No jetlag, no early morning call time, no all day everyday touring to places he doesn’t know and won’t even remember.
  • If he gets sick (I sure pray not), medical help is available anytime. Clinics, hospitals and pharmacies are all nearby. When Sophie got sick in Israel during our Holy Land tour, there was nothing in the small pharmacy nearby. I regretted it a lot and wished she hadn’t gone with us that time.
  • It would be a great bonding moment for Sophie and I, as most of the time she wants my attention but I’m more focused on the baby.
  • I can fully (or at least try to) enjoy the trip! I can also watch a musical in London without the baby (plans, plans)


  • Jolo cries in fits if he hasn’t seen me for 3 hours max. I cannot even imagine him crying for several days during my 17-days trip.
  • I have enough stash of breastmilk in the freezer, but he doesn’t like to drink from the bottle and just directly feeds from me. If he won’t drink breastmilk, I bought several formula for him to try. I’m not really against formulas, its just that abruptly stopping him from my breastmilk is truly heartbreaking for a breastfeeding advocate like me.
  • I also cannot even begin to imagine the pain of my would-be engorged breasts, maybe as hard as rocks. Theres no even use in pumping, when theres no baby to give it to, and no means of proper storage.
  • Maybe the saddest part would be unable to see for the first time if he has a new milestone, like standing on his own (since he’d be 8 months by that time).

We did not apply any visa for Jolo, so I would be forced to leave him.

The guilt of leaving my breastfeeding baby behind is killing me, esp since the reason is going for a holiday. But I just couldn’t let the opportunity pass, as I’m not paying for the trip.

I do hope to relactate when I return, and hope Jolo is still willing to breastfeed from me. Aww, the woes of this breastfeeding mom is strong! 💔

Happy birthday baby boy!

Welcome to the world, Jose Lorenzo aka Jolo! Born on October 14, 2018 11:27am, weighing 7.4lbs 50in long. Safely delivered him via NSD after enduring a 16-hour labor.

To Dra. Elsie Pascua and her team at SLMC-BGC, thank you from the deepest part of my heart. Jolo my son, you were just a dream that came true. We are excited to share the world with you!❤️

Jose Lorenzo, we are so glad to see you!

11-day old Jolo

How I Conceive with Adenomyoma and Adenomyosis

Honestly, my husband and I were not trying too long for a child. We were only trying for 1 whole year. The moment I learned that I have Adenomyosis and Adenomyoma, and how it affects fertility, I really wanted to have another child again. But that year we have pending long haul travels, so I put it on hold, and just thought we have a lot of time in our hands to make a baby afterwards.

After 6 months of trying with no luck, I got paranoid and thought of ways so we could conceive. The adeno pain was too unbearable monthly, and upon my research I learned that the pain goes away while pregnant! But since I wasn’t getting pregnant, I contemplated if I should just do the pills, which of course, won’t make me pregnant at all. It was such a dilemma because of the adeno pain, it was getting the better of me.

The forums on the internet did not help either. I planned on conceiving last year, but it did not happen, and thought this year to really focus. So instead of moping and becoming depressed, I helped myself to become more fertile so I could conceive eventually.

1. Pregnitude – fertility drink. I did not finish the box since I noticed that my ovulation and menstruation got delayed and crazy for 3 months.

2. Pre-natal Vitamins – yes, I think this helped me conceived, been taking the gummy ones I got from the US for about 4 months before getting pregnant.

3. Pre-seed Lubricant – although hubby did not like this, we still use this because it helps the sperm cells travel to the eggs faster.

4. Self Fertility Massage – I think I’ve been doing this for the past 6 months before getting pregnant, every morning before my ovulation period starts. It has been very helpful in my conceiving.

5. Castor Oil and Hot Pack – they said castor oil works wonders as it cleanses dead cells and old blood. I put this on my abdomen periodically, sometimes along with the self fertility massage.

6. Ovulation App – I was tracking my ovulation for 1 whole year through different apps.

7. Brisk walking for 20 minutes every morning – okay, I’m not really an active person. I’m the kind who eats what I like, and doesn’t exercise. So this is kinda a big deal for me, helping my body even in the smallest way possible.

8. Ovulation Kit – this was actually my last resort. Even though I was tracking my ovulation manually and with apps, we could not get the proper timing. Just 1 month of tracking my ovulation, Yes! I got pregnant.

I could not believe it at first. I was having the worst pain in my back and abdomen and thought that the period is coming. But it didn’t. 2 pregnancy tests later and an ultrasound, confirmed my pregnancy.

My OB said I was lucky because of my condition. A lot of prayers and faith helped too.

As of this writing, my baby boy is kicking and will be turning 26 weeks in my tummy. From the last utrasound I asked the sonographer if she can still see my adenomyoma. She said she cannot anymore. Oh God! It was like shooting 2 birds with a stone! I have a baby and my adenomyoma is gone (for now).

I know its too much to ask, but I hope the adeno will be gone forever. It has not caused me any problems since, and I honestly appreciated this pregnancy more since having the disease. I fervently pray that my son will be born healthy and safe, including myself, so I can take care of him and my first born Sophie for a very, very long time. ❤️

Fact : I have posterior adenomyosis and 2cm adenomyoma diagnosed in April 2016. Upon my routine ultrasound in November 2017, the adenomyoma is almost 5cm.

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